There once was a village on the edge of a large kingdom. In this village lived the beautiful and clever daughter of a poor farmer and his wife. In this kingdom, there also lived a king renowned for his riches and power. One day the king came to the village to collect taxes where he caught sight of the girl. Struck by her beauty, he went to her parents and demanded her hand in marriage. While her parents did not want to force their daughter into a marriage, they did not wish to enrage such a powerful king. They went to their daughter and informed her of the king’s demands. The girl asked to speak to the king herself.
The next day the king met the girl at her home. Once again struck by her beauty, the king demanded, “Be my bride.”
The girl responded, “My lord, I am but the daughter of a lowly farmer, I am not worthy of being your bride. My parents do not have any money to their name.”
The king was so in love with her beauty he granted her all the jewels in the castle treasury.
The next day the king met the girl at her home. “Now you have more riches than you could possibly need, be my bride.”
The girl responded, “My lord, I may now have riches, but I do not even have a home to call my own and you live in a beautiful castle. I am still not worthy of being your bride.”
The king left the girl’s home and immediately bought the girl a large castle in a neighboring kingdom.
The next day the king met the girl at her castle. “Now you have a home just as beautiful as mine, be my bride.”
The girl responded, “My lord, I now have plenty of riches and a beautiful home, but I am just a lowly farmer’s daughter. You are a king with immeasurable power at your control. I am still not worthy of being your bride.”
The king left the girl and pondered this dilemma. Finally, he bought the land surrounding the girl’s castle and created a kingdom, naming the girl queen of the kingdom.
The next day the king met the girl at her kingdom. “Now you are a queen just as powerful as I, be my bride.”
The girl laughed at the king’s demand.
The king angrily shouted, “How dare you insult me with your laughter. You will be my wife, you are but a lowly farmer’s daughter.”
The girl responded, “Do your worst. I am now a queen with my own armies and your riches.”
The king realized the error of his ways, he had been so struck by the girl’s beauty he had underestimated her cleverness. He returned to his kingdom to await another girl’s beauty to strike him in love. The farmer’s daughter, now a queen, remained in her kingdom ruling with cleverness and pride.
Love may tame even the most powerful, but its return cannot be forced.
Author’s Note/ Bibliography: This story is based on The Lion in Love from The Fable’s of Aesop by Joseph Jacobs. I kept the central theme of the original fable where the powerful gives away his power for love. I also kept the characters more generic without names as in the original and provided a lesson at the end in italics. Despite these similarities, I changed the story in several big ways. First, I made the lion into a man and changed his power from the physical (the strength of the lion) to economic and political power. I also gave the girl in my story more agency, while in the fable it is the parents who negotiate with the lion. Finally, I focused the story more heavily on the theme that you cannot force someone to love you and on the power imbalance of the main characters.
The next day the king met the girl at her home. Once again struck by her beauty, the king demanded, “Be my bride.”
The girl responded, “My lord, I am but the daughter of a lowly farmer, I am not worthy of being your bride. My parents do not have any money to their name.”
The king was so in love with her beauty he granted her all the jewels in the castle treasury.
The next day the king met the girl at her home. “Now you have more riches than you could possibly need, be my bride.”
The girl responded, “My lord, I may now have riches, but I do not even have a home to call my own and you live in a beautiful castle. I am still not worthy of being your bride.”
The king left the girl’s home and immediately bought the girl a large castle in a neighboring kingdom.
The next day the king met the girl at her castle. “Now you have a home just as beautiful as mine, be my bride.”
The girl responded, “My lord, I now have plenty of riches and a beautiful home, but I am just a lowly farmer’s daughter. You are a king with immeasurable power at your control. I am still not worthy of being your bride.”
The king left the girl and pondered this dilemma. Finally, he bought the land surrounding the girl’s castle and created a kingdom, naming the girl queen of the kingdom.
The next day the king met the girl at her kingdom. “Now you are a queen just as powerful as I, be my bride.”
The girl laughed at the king’s demand.
The king angrily shouted, “How dare you insult me with your laughter. You will be my wife, you are but a lowly farmer’s daughter.”
The girl responded, “Do your worst. I am now a queen with my own armies and your riches.”
The king realized the error of his ways, he had been so struck by the girl’s beauty he had underestimated her cleverness. He returned to his kingdom to await another girl’s beauty to strike him in love. The farmer’s daughter, now a queen, remained in her kingdom ruling with cleverness and pride.
Love may tame even the most powerful, but its return cannot be forced.
(Watercolor Illustration of a Castle from Pixabay)
Author’s Note/ Bibliography: This story is based on The Lion in Love from The Fable’s of Aesop by Joseph Jacobs. I kept the central theme of the original fable where the powerful gives away his power for love. I also kept the characters more generic without names as in the original and provided a lesson at the end in italics. Despite these similarities, I changed the story in several big ways. First, I made the lion into a man and changed his power from the physical (the strength of the lion) to economic and political power. I also gave the girl in my story more agency, while in the fable it is the parents who negotiate with the lion. Finally, I focused the story more heavily on the theme that you cannot force someone to love you and on the power imbalance of the main characters.
Hi Meghan!
ReplyDeleteWhat a powerful story. I loved the way you transformed the original. The comparison between a lion and a king is a great one, since a lion is kind of the king of the jungle. Yes girl! Girl power! Let the girl speak for herself. I love the ending, imagining the face of the king when he realized his lust led to his demise. How brilliant!
I can't wait to see more of your creativity.
Great job putting your own spin onto the story! I really like how it comes across when you make the Lion into a King -- I almost think that it communicates the message more effectively this way. I also liked your decision to add some dialogue into the story. With such a short and sweet plot line, the spoken bits add some character and keep it engaging. Good job!
ReplyDeleteWow Meghan, this was such an elaborate and well thought out story that was truly engaging. There was a huge plot twist at the end, at least in my opinion. I did not read the original story, so this ending came as a total surprise to me. It was so much fun to read. Good for the new queen ruling her own land. She is so clever, and she deserved the kingdom that she worked so hard to craft with her mind. I wonder if the king ever had any idea what she was up to throughout this process. What if the characters were given names? This might make the characters more personable to the readers. Other than that, this story was outstanding and I truly enjoyed engaging with your writing. I cannot wait to see what edits you make tot his story and read its final form. Great work!
ReplyDeleteHi Meghan! I loved your story. The lesson of the fable at the end really drove home the point of the story and also gave me kind of a "woah, mind blown" moment haha. This story honestly reads as if it was an original, old fable and not a retelling, which is really cool. I think it's really neat how you gave the girl more agency in the retelling. I think it keeps the spirit of the original fable but like you said, changes the moral of the story and also makes it a bit more modern.
ReplyDeleteIf I was the king in the story, I think I would have a little bit of hesitation before handing so much power to the girl. I like how you had him go back and ponder on how to solve the problem, but I think it would be interesting if the king consulted one of his advisors. Maybe the advisor says it's not wise to give the girl so much power, but the king is so love-struck he does it anyways? I think this would be a great way for the king to be a little bit more realistic, but also show how in love he was with the girl's beauty.
Hi Meghan, what a wonderful story that you have crafted! The story plot is very well-executed and the dialogue, though very simple, is very effective and reads very much like a classic children's book that my parents might have read to me when I was growing up. I'm glad to see that the homage paid to a popular story, but with a twist of modernism and creativity. The theme of love blinding people and having REAL and TANGIBLE consequences is rare olden tales, and it's cool to see that be played out in olden setting. I would recommend writing a more detailed opening in the future if possible, but in this context, the story is done very well and the lack of specific setting gives the lesson more impact.
ReplyDeleteHi Meghan,
ReplyDeleteThis was such an amazing story. The sentence at the end is also a great life lesson and sums up the meaning for the story perfectly. I like creativity and how cleverly transformed the Lion in Love tale. I do have a couple of questions, but the main question is, why did the farmer's girl not like the King? In the original story, it was kind of obvious. The lion is a wild beast and the parents did not entirely trust him or wanted to make him angry because lions kill people. However, there is no explicit reason in this story for her not to like the King. In this story, it just seems like the girl took advantage of the poor King.
There is one thing that I would add, and that is giving the Queen an army. I would change the story, so the King gives up his army to the Queen. Because even tho he gave her riches, a castle, and land, he did not give her an army. I am not speaking as to the difficulty of raising an army, but I feel it would fit better with the story if the King just gave her his army.
I truly enjoyed your story and look forward to reading more.
-Kevin